Things lingered in my head for the rest of the day and most of the rest of the week. I went inside as it started to get chilly and switched on my lapt...p. I googled ‘disciplinarian’ and was shocked at the results. Lots of images and a few videos that made my head reel. Surely, she couldn’t …? I asked myself but there seemed no other explanation. But if it were true why had she chosen to open up to me at our first meeting? The weather continued to remain hot and sunny and I sat out on the patio. .. because after twelve years of loving someone, you don't just turn it off like a switch. For the second time tonight I felt the pangs of guilt. I thought about what Diane said, how guilty she felt after sleeping with someone. I wondered if she felt more or less guilty than I feel right now.This isn't fair, I thought. I'm the injured party here, I shouldn't feel guilty at all. I need to get on with my life. How am I going to do that if I feel guilty every time I enjoy someone's company. Again,. More

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