First it hurts, and then gets no better. You sweat violently and wonder if you'll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines ...creaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf!" There are only three things you can do: 1. Scream 2. Call an Obstetrician 3. Hope to hell you've got some Vaseline to help you get through it.The Machine Gun DumpBest utilized in public conveniences. You sit there in sublime peace when suddenly you emit a group of noisy gassy bursts that break the. Kind of like with oral sex—fingers are ok, but a tongue? Oh, heaven! Once your lover is starting to respond to your licking (moaning and squirming and arching the back are all very common now!) you can try pointing your tongue and sliding it into the anus. This is kind of the scary part for the giver, but remember, you've done everything possible to be clean—let down your inhibitions, and listen to the sound of your lover's response. That's usually enough to keep the giver motivated to keep. More

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