I wonder if she’ll remember it later and tell me all about it.Sophie rests her tiny hand gently on Nicole’s bottom who rolls onto her side, allowi...g Sophie to spoon her. Nicole is facing the window so I can’t tell whether she’s awake, but I think she must be processing what is happening and working out how to respond.I realise that I’m holding my breath and counting to ten. Eight … nine … ten. Nicole pulls her legs up to her chin and, still on her side facing away, giving access for Sophie. It really fucking hurts inside. This sadness. Ive been thinking about Byron a lot recently. Dont know if Ill ever get over him. Occasionally if I smell or see or hear something that reminds me of him the pain explodes through me. Burning into every cell in my body. Devastating me. At these times I struggle to talk or move or think. Paralysed by despair. Maybe if Id done things differently wed still be together. ~~~~~ INTERIOR. BYRONS FLAT. BEDROOM. EVENING. 1989. RACHEL is 20 years old. BYRON. More

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