'I am Captain''MY OFFICE ... NOW', the Captain shouted and Chrissie waddled off quickly, the dildo lowering itself slowly as she went. 'THIS SHIP IS A...FUCKING SHAMBLES!' she screamed. 'WHO THE FUCK DOES NOT HAVE THEIR CUTLASSES?'Hands swept to the sides and two pirates gingerly stepped forward.'I HAVE THREE CUTLASSES. WHO IS THE THIRD PERSON?' barked the Captain looking round her ship'Captain, there is no Cutlass by Chrissie's shorts', I told her and she peered at the discarded item of clothing. Thesample bottle that the apparently embarrassed assistant insisted onhanding her was 500ml and a perfume not an eau de toilette, always happy tohave a freebie (she is actually quite tight in her private life) Triny placedit in her handbag, without a second glance at the assistant who proffered it. We do makesome serious errors of judgement when we are being flattered, if Triny hadlooked closely at the counter assistant she would have seen that her facethough not her figure was familiar . More

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