That alone took a couple days to comprehend. She is thereason I went through such trauma, and the whole time she was rubbinglotion on my little boobs ...o make them feel better, she was just addingmore hormones to my system. I was, in effect, chemically castrated, whichis why I never really developed a strong sex drive like a guy should. Thehormones and other drugs kept me passive and accepting of my change to agirl, and with just a week away from her, I realized I was thinking moreclearly. The. He knew by my writings that I would respond to a strong confident man, and he wanted to be that man for me So he kept telling himself to be cool and don't fuck this up.He had spent many long hours reading my journal and knew what to do and he had wanted me sexually for years. He didn't want to blow this opportunity by showing weakness, but at the same time he loved me and wanted to show it.I looked up into his eyes as he held my face. I was trembling."There's no need to be scared of me, pet.... More

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