. as things stood, now, he wanted tokeep it, even if it had to be tucked away.But what would Blaine think?Would he freak out? Maybe. Probably.Would he...hit John? Probably not, but he might be justified if he did.After all, John had not been honest with him... No. Blaine would neverhit him. He was sure of that.Would he leave? Maybe. That was the worse thing that John could thinkof. He needed Blaine. He needed to be Blaine's girl. That meant as muchas being on the show...... the show...What if. If we do it, I want it to be as realistic as possible, he said to me. I know, I responded. Me too. That means I want you to hurt me as you struggle. That goes both ways, I said, looking him dead in the eye. He wasnt entirely sure what I meant. I want you to hurt me as you rape me. It took him a moment to agree. Okay. We decided to do it on a Friday night, when my dad was out with his friends watching some game. I told him Id text him when I was getting in the shower to let him know he could. More

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