That was the end of that relationship.Consequently, whenever later lovers tried to interest me in clitoral caresses, I would push their hands away and...encourage them to get-to-fuckin'. and I expect I lost out on a heap of fine orgasms because of it. I never masturbated myself during my early years (honest!), and throughout my early teens, if a man's finger inched too close to my tightly clenched anus, I'd literally jerk it away. It was like a conditioned reflex. I hated doing it, but it was as. "Goodnight" I add and clamber beneath the sheets, waiting. "What's OK?" he persists. I let him simmer for a while longer. "I said-" "I heard what you said but if you can't ask, then you don't get." Silence. An agonisingly long silence. I'm beginning to think that maybe I've blown my chance when suddenly, he hops down from the top bunk with a heavy thump. I sit up on one elbow and look up into his eyes. There's fear mixed with excitement and something else, something I have grown to recognise. More

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