Two days later, as the doctor removed stitches from my abdomen, moreworrisome questions had to be asked. How could the baby be born since Ihave no bir...h canal? How would the baby be fed? Does a baby not need itsmother's milk?"I assure you," replied the doctor, "that Caesarean section is a well-understood and safe surgical procedure. As for the baby's food, we wouldbe very pleased indeed if you agree to breast feeding. Certainly yourbreasts should be secreting lots of milk by that time."Indeed. It didn't matter to me, because I wasn't going to be around for it to matter. I was going to get one of Dad's pistols, shoot Jeanette and her lover (if he was still there), then I was going to kill myself.Jeanette's adultery, coming as it had so suddenly out of nowhere, had taken every bit of my will to live.I remember that I was in a daze as I drove into my parents' driveway, let myself in, deactivated the alarm system and went to Dad's study. I looked in his desk drawer and found the key I. More

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