In the corners of your terrified, confused gaze, you make out the naked limbs of a tree. A huge tree. A big-ass tree. With big-ass limbs. And maybe it...was the bathed grass under your skin that may have given you a hallucinating cold or the badly cooked (microwaved) lasagna you've had on Tuesday, but.....but......why the hell are they moving? My fucking Lord, why are these fat branches moving?! Annnnddd....they're coming closer, aren't they?Yes, they-*BAMM*Like thunderous applause meeting the. ” I hear three concurrent face palms followed by sighs.Master Splinter smiles and shakes his head, “As I was saying, is nice to find allies in this city. My sons trust you and care for you. They cannot, however always be there, which is why I'd like to teach you to defend yourself.”“That would be awesome! I uh, mean, I would be honored and grateful for the opportunity to learn self-defense from you.” “Excellent.” Splinter says, “We start immediately.”As we sit drinking our tea, I find myself. More

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