I knew that I couldn’t vocalize my hurt feelings without breaking down, and the thought of being humiliated in public twice in one day was just too ...uch to bear. So I proceeded to make another of many bad decisions that day, and tried to pretend that everything was okay. Denial and avoidance have always come fairly easy for me, and I wanted so desperately to put the incident behind us. Regardless of my storm swept emotions, it was a beautiful day, and I willed myself to salvage some piece of. I did it, and that's just a part of who I am. You should know my reckless behaviour by now, and I'm not going to apologise for something I did several years ago that didn't harm anybody. And don't tell me I'm a victim, because I made a choice. I'm the one who did it. This is just an explanation. I feel I owe you that much.How it happened was I was sitting cross-legged on my bed, fumbling through my cardboard box of restraints. Joel, my roommate at the time, was standing by the doorway, digital. More

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