I’m sure of it. My god, I have to pee. Or he’ll just do it and GET THIS THE FUCK OVER WITH BEFORE I LOSE MY FUCKING MIND. Three bottles of beer on...the wall… I open my eyes a tiny, little bit, and I can make out my dresser. I couldn’t see it the last time I chanced a peek. The sun must be rising. If only the guy with the shotgun were a vampire, I’d be in the clear soon. I decide that he must not know that I’m here. He must have come for Jenn, and I’m sure that such a violent criminal will not. “Mmmo!” I finished chewing the mouthful of pickle I'd bitten off in surprise. “No Mrs. Davidson. I just really like these pickles.” She raised an eyebrow at me and gave a polite laugh before returning to the group. I don't know if she knew what I had been doing, but my underwear wasn't going to hold the evidence back much longer, so I made a quick exit. That night I scoured the internet for a more durable facsimile and found it: El Torero. Advertised at 12 inches long and 7.5 inches around, it. More

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