I'm not sure what all I said next because I was trembling and stuttering as I spilled my guts about my fantasies with her. She mostly just sat there l...oking at me and shaking her head slowly with tears welling up in her eyes. I remember saying something about knowing that she had not been getting the loving she deserved as I moved myself over her. She didn't push me away, she just grabbed me and held me from her. I lowered my face towards her to kiss and then she pulled me close and turned her. I must be going crazy when I could not tell what was a part of my dream and what was real life! Dammit, maybe I did need a psychiatrist after all, despite my fear of the looney bin.My brother Jimmy was quite a bit less flighty than Mom, so maybe he was the one I should talk to. I don’t know why I was so reluctant to talk to my father, but I was avoiding him, and I knew it. Maybe it was because he was the hardheaded businessman-type who would say, “If you have a problem, bring in the expert.”. More

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