Those precious times when I was able to get dressed in a skirt andblouse, or maybe a dress, lifted my spirits, and allowed me to continueto be able to...force the facade of my manhood on myself and the outerworld. Inside, only I knew the truth. By the time I reached the loftyage of 14, it was clear to me that to be caught dressed as a girl wouldbe the death knell, a catastrophe that would fall on me with the entireweight of the world, so I quit trying to be what I wasn't, trying to putthose. She loved that idea, so I got us a room.It was pretty late when we got to the room and we were both pretty tired. With the lights turned off, we both undressed out of our fancy clothes down to our underwear, and got into bed together without really peeking too much. And even then being mostly naked in bed together we still were talking to each other like normal about who we saw at the party and what was the best food. Eventually, she stopped responding though. I told her good night without. More

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